When Pigs Fly
TESTED Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8. WHAT IS IT? High-performance sport utility. HOW MUCH? $40,725 base for 2008; $45,690 for %26#8217;07 model as tested with $1,645 navigation system and backup camera; $2,095 SRT Option Group 1 (Sirius Satellite Radio, remote engine starter, power-adjustable pedals, rear parking assist, rain-sensitive wipers; heated front seats); $800 sunroof and $225 Red Rock Crystal Pearl paint.WHAT%26#8217;S UNDER THE HOOD? 6.1-liter Hemi V-8 (420 horsepower, 420 pound-feet) with five-speed automatic transmission.IS IT THIRSTY? With an E.P.A. rating of 11 m.p.g. city and 14 highway, the SRT8 has a serious drinking problem. (Overall mileage as tested: 9.9 m.p.g.)YOU may have heard about Chrysler%26#8217;s new lifetime warranty. Buy a Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep and the powertrain warranty remains in effect for as long as you keep the vehicle. I%26#8217;m already looking forward to stories in 2038 about geezers tooling around in 2008 Jeeps that are road-going ships of Theseus, on their fourth engine and fifth transmission yet still under warranty. If I had an infant, I%26#8217;d be sorely tempted to buy a Wrangler, put it in the baby%26#8217;s name, then feel incredibly smug 16 years hence when the family%26#8217;s high-school beater is still under warranty. Maybe I%26#8217;d buy a homely Compass, too, just to keep as a threat.But read the fine print of the End Times Warranty and you%26#8217;ll see that not all Jeeps are eligible; the Grand Cherokee SRT8 makes do with a three-year or 36,000-mile warranty. At first I thought that strange %26#151; the SRT8 is a Jeep with absolutely no off-road pretensions, and therefore no chance of getting a tree stump through the transfer case. But once I got behind the wheel I realized that each shiny SRT8 you see on the street has probably been subjected to mechanical savagery to make, by comparison, the most dented and mud-spattered Wrangler Rubicon seem as benignly chauffeured as the Popemobile. What%26#8217;s the line about absolute power corrupting absolutely? Well, if you are the slightest power-hungry the SRT8 corrupts your driving style because you%26#8217;re constantly tempted to put the spurs to the animal under the hood, a 420-horsepower Hemi V-8 that emits a thunderous bellow from twin four-inch exhaust tips. While every other recipient of this motor has rear drive and is thus traction-challenged off the line, the Jeep has all-wheel drive. Floor the throttle and the rear tires scratch the pavement for a moment before power is ushered to the front and 4,819 pounds of S.U.V. leap forward like a goosed hippopotamus. Jeep says the SRT8 will zip from a stop to 60 miles an hour in less than 5 seconds %26#151; even in the rain. Members of Chrysler%26#8217;s Street and Racing Technology group didn%26#8217;t go home once they%26#8217;d bolted their signature motor under the Grand Cherokee%26#8217;s hood. For instance, I can confidently declare, without so much as a Google search, that this is the first Jeep to employ Italian brakes %26#151; four-piston aluminum calipers from the house of Brembo, squeezing front rotors that are larger than the entire wheels of a Chevy Aveo LS. (Even the rear discs, at 13.8 inches, dwarf a Corvette%26#8217;s front rotors.) The SRT8%26#8217;s wheels are 20 inches of forged aluminum wrapped with Z-rated Goodyear Eagle RS-A tires, 255-width up front and chunky 285s on the rear. Lest we forget this is a truck, those rear wheels are bolted to a heavy-duty Dana 44 solid axle, an item so cherished by off-road aficionados that you can buy sterling silver earrings cast in the likeness of its differential cover. Just the thing for the little lady who appreciates a sturdy ring and pinion.The SRT8 puts up big numbers, but it%26#8217;s like a hockey goon %26#151; all brute strength and no finesse. Those heavy brakes, wheels and rear axle thud crudely over bumps. Directional changes are effected with all the lithesome agility of a sinking tugboat. But when you point it straight and bury the throttle, you experience Porsche Cayenne Turbo performance for about half the money.Did I say all was forgiven? The fuel consumption qualifies as unforgivable. I averaged 9.9 m.p.g., mostly in urban driving. Now I may have driven as though I had a trunk full of moonshine and federal agents on my tail, but the Grand Cherokee SRT8 brings to mind the old chestnut: if you left it running at the pump, would it ever fill up?But I doubt that many people are racking up big mileage commuting in Grand Cherokee SRT8s. This is a special vehicle, an occasional toy in the vein of a Porsche or Corvette. I had valets complement it and park it next to their booth. The SRT8 strikes me as the kind of oddball limited-edition performance machine that will inspire a cult of people who will cherish its strange talents for years, long after its thirsty V-8 is out of style %26#151; and out of warranty.
Tags: Auto, Chrysler, corvette, Dodge, Eagle, Jeep, Porsche, Sterling, yen
